as the present now will later be past, the order is rapidly fadein'.-bob dylan

although my mind is currently swimming with so many thoughts...i must round up the southern tour.

so we left ridgeville, sc a little behind schedule. we also didn't prepare to drive through the only snow storm in the country. it being only fitting after so many days in the glorious sun and of course, it wasn't even snowing back home. we had wanted to stop and hike somewhere, but our progress was slowed by the inclimate weather. i had just offered to drive and shortly after, driving through the mountains, the road becomes covered in snow. i will allow this blog some integrity and share with you that this is the part of the story where i become plagued with anxiety, totally puss out and ask eric to drive.

i am not sure what happened, but all i can say is that there were so many other times through out this trip, i was impressed with myself. this was not one of them. we stopped at a gas station to pee and eric got coffee.   we finally had some snow footage for the dance. still wanting to keep the dance video until it is finalized, i can share a prep so you can get an idea of the snow and how cold it was for a southern traveler.

as we go to leave, now with eric behind the wheel, the car gets stuck in the snow. tires spinning, no traction, no exit, no departure. uuuuuugh. i must say the concept is much more bearable when you have someone else with you to contemplate solutions. just as i described my last experience having my vehicle stuck (my idea of a psychotic toothless wonder that was living in the woods) the virginia version walks up to the car and mumbles something and begins to push our car. what i think was his daughter, joined him without a word and began to push our car out of the snow. this man might have had four teeth in his head and at one point the girl fell down face first in the snow. however, these random hillbillies freed us. i hope i continue to see the kindness in people in hopes of curbing my baseless fear. we are finally on the road again. we eventually make it to charleston, wv to the home of troy and kristin, their son, colin and doggies. they were so welcoming, they had made a delicious vegan soup just for me. it made the long day of sketchy driving fade away...

an early morning start the following day allowed us to have a 'family' breakfast before all ventured off on their mondays. eric having to be back for work at noon, it was nice to be up early for a change. back to the bus, back to the tasks at hand. it really was an amazing trip. returning to life as i knew it was bittersweet. the road is certainly a place to get lost...and found.

that all feels like a distant memory as i have been consumed with ideas of africa planning and packing up my apartment. it remains true, moving really is one of the worst things to experience. i would love to interview professionals. how does someone do this for a living? it is the pits....for the birds! we have had so many events and social commitments, eric had six different jobs this week. it has just been non stop. music in the round was a smashing success. i don't know the final count off hand, but we raised a lot of money for the orphanage. please see click this link, it is incredible. i don't have one love. i have all love for these four musicians and everyone in the room that night. i feel so lucky to be a part of this.

i don't feel nearly as prepared for africa as i thought i would be. i also thought i could focus and pack up my place with time to spare. with that spare time, i would do all the things that would allow me to feel equipped for a trip of this magnitude. however, it just isn't so. and maybe, it is how it is meant to be? because really, what would i be doing with that time? freaking out about things that i cannot control. africa is going to happen. my place will be packed up and cleaned. things get done, they always do.

perhaps i just want to do anything but pack my house, but i have really enjoyed hanging out with various peeps as of late. i have realized that i was never in the moment before. bogged down by the rat race, the stress of day to day life and the monotony that comes with it. i feel so much more at ease now. instead of thinking of all the things i need to do later, i can simply enjoy people. share stories, have a laugh. i like this. i am still giving myself constant pep talks. mantras of 'you will be ok' are common. this is also part of my journey. i hope to really work on this...worrying less, embracing more.

i have also realized that i have something else to add to my to do list for this year: write a screen play. i have no idea how one does this or what i will ever do with it, but that is ok. even if i never answer those questions, that is also ok. i want to and therefore i will. i remembered how much i enjoy films. i have a constant monologue, an active script during my every moment. i should see if i can capture it? catch me if you can.

currently, i am balancing the schedule of the various medications i must take: malaria and typhoid and who knows. my house is nearly empty and change is visual. i have taken some things, mostly of comfort, to eric's house. this is it. here we go...

officially out of the house my wednesday. townes van zandt tribute night on friday. depart for nairobi on saturday. hakuna matata. well...i am working on it.

"if i fail, if i succeed at least i live as i believe" -whitney houston

i had every intention of blogging for the entirity of this trip. it was this exact moment that i was trying to avoid: now having to cover so much at once. however, getting wrapped up in the wonderment of great people and new places is a problem i don't mind having. ok, lets start…

i left charelston, sc headed off to ocala national forrest. i had done some research on where i wanted to stay…but was free styling against my usual mode of over preparation. after listening to danger's gifted cds, i reluctently popped in 'life with my sister madonna' by christopher ciccone. this would be a pivotal move later on…i have to say, while i was surprised by my enjoyment of this novel, he made a crucial mistake of reading his own book. his voice plain and flat, however, dishing about one of the biggest pop star of my lifetime is totally engaging. as i drove towards ocala in the warmth of the sunshine, i contemplated the elements of what made madonna successful: determination, confidence and an extreme work ethic. he mentioned her lack of professional training in so many of the arenas that she would work in, citing her unabashed confidence in any pursuit. the only difference between any of us and those that we idolize is simply that they are going for it and we are only dreaming of it. it made me fired up…feeling empowered and motivated, i continued on into the desolate forrest. my gps was dodgy and the signage limited. feeling like i might have missed the turn off to delancy lake (where i intended to camp) i continued to the visitors center. trying to be on top of it, i stopped to get maps and confirm the location. i had also received directions to the site from the internet. i turn back around and head to find delancy lake east. i knew and was told it was a turn off of road 66. when i see a small painted wood sign labeled 66, i figured the one labeled 'east' out of the choices east and west was where i wanted to go. i was told that the road was primitive, made of clay, so i wasn't expecting highway quality traveling. as i continue down this desolate clay road through the tropical forrest, i randomly see dilapidated houses and time worn trailers. being on my own and not seeing any resemblance of a campground,  i begin to feel uneasy. 

christopher ciccone robotically relays partying with celebrities as i desperately search for some direction. then…they clay road turns into deep sand. i am completely off roading at this point in my practical city car. my heart begins to race and i immediately turn off madonna's brother to gain some focus on the situation. where the fuck am i going? and what they hell am i doing in the back woods of florida, by myself, trying to be on a safari in a jungle of rednecks with hardly the proper equipment. just then, my car gets stuck in the sand. much like the snow that i am familiar with, my car will not budge. panicked, i scan the premisis. i see a few run down houses and think to myself how this resembles the beginning of a horror film: young woman, in the middle of nowhere, car troubles, needs help from deranged, toothless psychopath. what the fuck….what the FUCK am i going to do? inspired by madonna's ambition, i am determined to solve this predicament, also fully knowing that knocking on some rando's door in the middle of the woods is NOT an option. i shift into neutral and actually believe i am going to push my car back into traction. i go at it with full strength and the car comically doesn't move an inch. as someone who is frequently challenge by reversing out of peoples drive ways, i manage to reverse my car back into movement and then amped up to get the hell outta of there, i reversed a half a mile back to the clay road. it is truly amazing what one can accomplish when you must. i can not find this campsite! this is my first real test on the road on my own and i refuse to fail right out the gates! to summarize: after i make a few more investigative drives around the area, i cross the road to delancy west, which turns out to have both campgrounds.

frazzled, but relived to finally be at my destination, i am the lone woman among men in pick up trucks. undeterred, i pick out my site (one as remote as possible) and put my $10 in the envelope at the campground kiosk. i then set up camp, make a lovely dinner for myself on my pocket rocket stove and my new camping frying pan.

feeling very capable and accomplished, i collect sticks and then make my own fire. i enjoy a few beers, but in the remote darkness, realize sleep is probably the only option. i wake in the morning, dismantle camp, pack up and i am on the road again. once i finally get cell service again, i make the calls to the worried love ones to say that i have in fact survived one night. on to naples!!

i get to naples around what i can only assume is rush hour. traffic is awful and someone strongly rear ends the car next to me. ugh! get me outta here! getting the address wrong, i eventually make it to my dear friend rick's house. what a lovely home: 10 acres of land complete with two horses and tropical landscape.

petting horseys!

so many wonderful people here. to describe my next four days  would be impossible. i can only say enjoyable camaraderie, delicious meals, indulgent evenings spent discussing life and the ever talented 'compton and bennett' (along with other friends) entertaining us with their musical stylings.

you really can live anywhere: drying my clothes at my campsite on rick's property.
newly purchase travel close line= A+

it was divine. i got to pick up my sweet baby from the fort myers airport and we had a beautiful reunion. i had really missed him. i enjoyed my time traveling alone but it is so wonderful to share the delight with someone. it was hard to the leave the sanctuary, but eric had made a connection in ybor city, fl and we were off to explore it!

a quick drive to ybor city and we find ourselves in this lively artistic town. we make our way to 'the roosevelt 2.0' urban center for social change. 

a very hospitable man named sky, welcomes us inside his project in the making. we sit on cozy couches in a loft where sky tells us his mission and plans for an art space that welcomes all who want to create. 

he is completely inspiring, enjoyable, vibrant. he then proceeds to buy us, complete strangers, dinner at a local restaurant. amazing. i leave feeling warm and affected. on to tarpon springs!

eric had a gig at the undergrounds coffee house in tarpon springs, fl. a small coffee house in the heart of this little town. it was populated by the artistic underaged. a small crowd, but notably in attendance was my sister-in-laws parents, ed and donna. they were genuine and kind. it was nice to catch up and visit. after all things are wrapped up we make the late night drive to barrow, fl to see our friends annie and ariel. annie, expecting a baby girl soon was in bed when we arrived, but ariel and their cat, fig welcomed us in to their home.

i was ever so grateful to sleep in an actual bed after a brief hiatus. i wake slowly, enjoying the nice bed while eric catches up with annie in the morning. she may be the cutest preggo ever. we then head into town to have lunch with ariel. lovely. then it is off to st. augustine!!!

i was excited to share the exploration of this town with eric as he had such positive experiences and i only a brief tourist. we arrive at the home of becky and dave (annie's parents!) who live ON THE BEACH. and they have kitties! <note: all cats are referred to as kitties no matter what the age.>

we have some nice conversation over cheap beers and becky's delicious homemade stout. she then makes a delectable vegan meal for me which we share with their son samuel. we then head out for a night on the town. we walk around the enchanting st. augustine and then head to 'the milltop tavern' to see the so very talented molly and todd jones (along with drummer jeremy).

their harmonies are impeccable. such kindness and a kindred musician spirit, todd invites eric to play a few songs. this prompts a few cd sales from a receptive audience. gas money, yo! we walk around a bit more, make a few more dance videos and then head back to the beach house. after a restful night sleep, we head out on the recommendation of ariel to check out 'discount groceries'. seriously, a heaven here for me on earth. it is like the big lots of organic foods. we proceed to purchase items to take to africa and a plethora of tortillas, a bag full for one dollar. then off to have lunch with my old college roommate in jacksonville beach, fl!

audrey and her adorable son geoff (playfully renamed geoffro) accompanied us at taco lu. i was able to enjoy some wonderful vegan options, tempeh tacos for the win! it was so nice to reconnect with audrey after so many years. 

she was as delightful as i remembered and so easy to be around. we then set out for the long awaited return to the hostel in the forrest in brunswick, ga.

i had frequented the hostel while in college, finding it to be a much needed retreat from the stresses of school and the drama of being a 20-something human being. i have spoken so highly of my experiences to eric, i couldn't wait to share it with him. the cost of a nights stay had changed from $12 to $25, but even a million dollars would have been worth it. the improvements made on the community were astounding.

it is seriously all the comforts of home in the middle of the forrest and all eco-consciously executed. we met some splendid folks, hula hooped, ate off the land and exchanged information.

a one nights stay in this ideal environment was cruel, but the promise of my former home of savannah made it bearable. to the 912, y'all!

we park off a square in downtown and i drag eric around every memorable landmark. he can immediately see the wonder of this small city. i cannot express my love for savannah enough.

we head out to the islands to see jordan and do a much needed load of laundry. i think clothing options are just one of the many things i have learned while on on the road that will be a work in progress. up until this point, i had been proud of my thriftiness. in my cherished savannah, all ideas of conservation went out of the window. i just wanted to enjoy, indulge and relive former glories. it turns out, times are indeed different, much like i am different. we went out for a night on the town, only to find such changes, not only to locations, but the familiarity of patrons of each establishments. i am also finding that the quickness of this leg of the trip to be rather challenging. staying only one night in each spot makes for a strange emotional experience. not able to get attached, but often doing so anyway only to have to leave. not my favorite. i find that my care for myself has also diminished. over indulging: a blessing and a curse. i realize that mastering balance while on the road will be a talent that i will need to develop. i am interested in returning home to get a better grasp on this new life i have carved out for myself. then off to charelston, sc!

where i was missing the memories of good friends in savannah (with the exception of jordan and her lovely family) i seemed to find it all in charelston. we met up with eric's friend john and his partner elaine at caw caw interpretive center.

we went for a nice hike, taught them the dance and enjoyed nature. we then went out to folly beach, which was celebrating mardi gras, despite the rain. it reminded me of a more happening tybee island. then off to meet up with the ladies at the delicious sesame. i had a fantastic black bean burger and a great reunion with the sarah's and thea. of course we must go to the mill? we make it brief, knowing the longest drive of the trip must commence the following day. man, i could get used to these ladies…so much love for them! we then trek to john and elaine's place out in the country in ridgeville, sc. so gracious, they offer us their own bed! being so tired upon my arrival, i was not aware or i would have protested. the kindness of people never ceases to amaze me. 

we have a lovely visit with them, albeit far too short. we now embark on the last leg, remnants of our lives in columbus infiltrating our bubble more than ever. hoping to hike a part of the AT at the half way part to charleston, wv…but the weather and our late start impedes. ever since i have been in the south, my proposed plans have been running about an hour behind. it suits the southern style. i have learned so much on this trip, i am not sure how to even communicate the experience. it is only a more clear example of how one must experience this life for themselves. it is truly life changing. an opportunity for personal growth that cannot be found elsewhere. i could go on about that alone forever...but for now, we rest.

to be continued...

"still in peaceful dreams I see, the road leads back to you..."-ray charles

tally ho!

i left charlotte with a nice drive on to charleston. all the while, randomly tearing up at the most wonderful book, 'the help' by kathryn stockett. i am not sure if i even want to see the movie now. the books are always better. such a wonderful story and so well written. after two successes with audio books, i highly doubt my last one, some sell out book about madonna written by her brother will even stand a chance. luckily, a sweet gal in charleston burned me some cds of some local music. i think i'll be alright.

i ventured to mount pleasant, sc to go the sprout, a all raw, vegan place. it was in a strange location (why do these people do this to themselves?) but it was attached to a gym, so i guess they are trying to draw the health conscious. not a bad move...

i got a cleanse juice, which was delicious. and a vegan chai, i just couldn't resist. i didn't try any of the food, but it all looked good. it is really too bad that this sort of food must always cost so much. i feel like it is really eliminating so much of the population. another thing in life that just ain't fair.

i then went over to sullivan's island to get my first taste of the ocean. ahhhhhh. it reminded me so much of tybee, making me even more anxious to get down to savannah. it was really beautiful, despite being overcast.

i sat in the sand and relished the fact that i was not in a cubicle. i am not sure it has even hit me yet. i think i am just on vacation. i have with me, print outs of nasty emails to remind me of my choice for happiness. this life is so short, never knowing when our time is up, it is ever so important to enjoy it.

i then met up with some of the loveliest ladies. my dear friend sarah, from a childhood long ago but fitting seamlessly in the present. we all just fit together like the puzzles these gals squeal about. (note to self: start puzzling as a hobby) their monday routine consists of going to a community tai bo class. it was awesome! a great workout, a wonderful sense of community and it provided permission for the wildness that would ensue. i made an amateur move by not eating a proper dinner and suffered the consequences the following day. but oh lawd, it was so much fun. i LOVED their local hole, the mill. it was a place i would frequent for sure. i spent the morning and early after noon with the enjoyable danger (also a sarah) and then on i went to my former home, savannah, ga. 

i have spent the last seven years of my life getting lost. i never feel confident wherever i am going. if i end up getting there, it always feels like sheer luck. however, in this town, my body just knows where to go. i know savannah like i haven't known anywhere else. it truly is embedded in my being. the joy bubbled to the surface instantly. my first stop was one of great nostalgia: parkers. the finest gas station you will ever see. i did have to go to the bathroom, but i also realized i was coming empty handed to see precious olivia. every aunt must bring prezzies? especially ones of chocolate...

i couldn't believe how i just remembered everything, still knowing where the good parking is. i parked my whip, paid the meter knowing the severity of the maids round here and headed out on foot: the best way to enjoy this town. if only i had my bike...

instant LOVE. happiness. even the air feels better here. i just love savannah, georgia sooooo much. it was the first place that ever felt like home to me. every corner had a memory. i found myself just walking along and suddenly laughing at memories of reckless youth. it is so strange how much has changed and then not at all with all things that stayed the same. what i miss most is the people that used to inhabit this town that have since moved on, much like i have. all i can feel is that i just can't wait to share this with eric.

seeing jordan and her beautiful baby girl olivia has showed me how much all things change. and it is all ok.  jordan is family to me, i just love that girl. i feel like we will still find things to laugh about when we are busted up old timers. laughing....it sure is the best. and we are damn good at it.

the savannah trip has gone way too fast. i have hardly done all the things i wanted to. and i know that one day in the following week won't be enough either. i have realized that no matter what your schedule is like, you can never create more time. so why sweat it? i need to focus on the positives and be thankful for time at all here. when the negative thoughts come up, you just got to shoo them away. dismiss them entirely. they serve no purpose. oh and by the way, i am kind of a mess. i guess it is allergies? the pollen has always been bad here, but i never reacted to it before?! i am all stuffy and sneezy...ugh. luckily, i get to go to even warmer weather, get a lot of fresh air and just relax before the next big event. it is on to ocala, fl tomorrow!

parting is such sweet sorrows!

That I shall say good night till it be morrow  

"help me, i think i am falling in love again"-joni mitchell

on it goes. it's a travelers life for me. i am loving every minute so far. it is amazing how fast the time is going....

my visit in st. louis was such a blast. i seriously fell in love with baby chase. precious, in every way.

it was hard to leave my best friend in the whole world. you know you are around good peeps when it doesn't even feel like you are visiting, but rather you just live there too. ahhh, now that is magic. jessica is such a good mom. it is just amazing to watch. my girl done good.

the drive back home was easy breezy. i am now listening to 'the help'. dang, it is good. after a mad dash at home packing up for the next excursion, taking little girl to the vet, and cooking up a storm, i was off to charlotte, nc. the drive was beautiful. sunny and mountainous. i am really digging this book...it makes the long hours in the car so easy.

i arrived at colin and erica's house in good time on friday evening. i finally got to meet my dog nephew, dublin! what a wild boy! we have been having a good time going hiking. the boy has so much energy, still just a pup.

it has been fun visiting my sister and bro. we are going to a super bowl party a bit later. i think i can get a bit of a nap in before then. as colin would say, i need to catch a good zeal...